Marriages are made in heaven. This phrase is trendy in India. In the northern part of India, another phrase is trendy. It can be translated as ‘the one who has tasted the Laddu (a sweet popular in Delhi) suffers, the one who hasn’t also suffers’. Indicating, that it doesn’t matter whether you are married or not, you are bound to suffer.

That’s how marriage is perceived in this part of the world.

However, there is societal pressure to cement marriages, and couples celebrating 50 years as married couples is not unheard of.

There are more ‘arranged marriages’ than ‘love marriages’ in India. Bulk of the arranged marriages come from semi-urban and rural areas. The elites prefer ‘love marriage’ with a defined courtship. Furthermore, ‘live-in relations’ are also in vogue in metros/urban areas of India.

So, what is marriage?

Theoretically, marriage is a social institution, wherein marriage is a legal sanction for a couple to enter into a physical relationship. Any relationship outside marriage is considered ‘extra-marital’.

Likewise, children born out of such wedlock are considered ‘legitimate’ and those born outside the wedlock are considered ‘illegitimate’.

The definition is crystal clear.

The problem lies after the above definition is achieved. You start staying together as husband and wife. This rule, however, doesn’t hold good in live-in relationships.

There are two major tasks in hand for both:

1. You are expected to perform the role of a husband/wife, and each one expects the other to perform his/her duties and obligations.
2. You (both) have to hold the relationship together.

The unwritten charter of roles of both spouses varies geographically. But, if we speak with spouses of unsuccessful marriages, the major reasons cited would be:

1. S/he didn’t fulfill his/her role as a husband/wife
2. We couldn’t hold on to the relationship

Hence, we parted ways.

Is there a solution?

The answer is simple:

Do you both think you can resolve the above two issues? Then you can.